Respuesta :
in the first sentence you might want to replace 'student' with child because its the parents children not a teachers student, but if you like it the way it is it would be fine to keep it, it would just be better to clarify it. Also in the 1st sentence you might want to change 'during class' to 'during school' and the 'and' to 'or'. You might also want to change 'thing' in the 1st sentence to 'choice' because because having the word thing in an essay isnt the best of choices. effect in the second sentence should be affect (im like 95% sure, but you might want to look it up). Second sentence change students to students' (because multiple students are possessive over their grades). also change majorly to greatly. to sound more professional you might want to change the 3rs sentence to: personally, i do not think that is the truth. after that sentence you should then identify yourself as a teenager (teen is unprofessional) who likes to listen to music. change mom to mother and was doing school... to I was doing school.... Also thats a run on sentence so put a period before but, get rid of but and start the new sentence off with 'finally'. the type of music you listen to isnt important to the prompt and you should probably take it out. the next sentence you should exchange really with actually and put a coma between music and though. next sentence change effect to affect and students to students'. the next sentence is a run on which can be turned into at least 3 sentences. also it isnt entirely important where you learned the skill. after the sentence about your uncle, put musical infront of beats, also develop is spelled without an e at the end. next sentence change someone to some people. next sentence you dont need the quotation marks but you do need to have a coma after the title of where you got the info. next sentence effect is spelled wrong. in your qoute change the period before the quotation mark ends to a coma. next sentence change your to a (its a big no to have you, your, youre in a paper of this manner). to be honest the whole next sentence about confidence and not helping all just shouldnt be in the paper. also in the abcs quote change the first period to a question mark. also the 'didnt it' is a rhetorical question and shouldn't be in the paper. next sentence change things to information. leave out the next sentence, dont put a sentence in a paper that goes against your thesis. sentence about 'i should know...' leave out the 'should' part because it creates a sense of doubt. next sentence change than to then. also take out actually and change 'not worry if everyone likes them' to 'they wouldnt worry and not be self conscious'. next sentence put a coma after too and change it to 'if two people like the same music' try not to say i or my or me in an essay. next sentence self doubt is two words. next sentence get rid of the first just think and alter deppresion (because depression is a whole other topic that cant be helped with just music) and instead put sadness. put a period and start a new sentence with 'i imagine...'. on the Albert Einstein sentence, put a coma before one of the smartest men and get rid of ever to live then put a coma after smartest men. the last fact about the heartbeat is unneeded. add a last sentence thesis like "i believe music is good for people because (reason 1) and (reason 2).
When most people first think of the term mathematics or the word "Algebra," they don't get too excited. Most people tend to say "I hate math!" or the big one, "When are we ever going to use it in our lives." The fact is that algebra will be used in our lives whether we know it or not. For instance, if we were to attend a football game all it is, is one big math problem. In football mathematics can be used in a variety of different ways. It can be used in the game itself, the business portion (ticket sales), or the building of the stadium. Without math the world would not be the same as we know it to be today.
One way that we can apply math or algebra to the game of football is trying to find out the revenue collected by ticket sales. Without the use of algebra a football team owner couldn't accurately calculate incoming revenues. Most likely he would be losing more money then he would be making. A professional football team is based on a salary cap. There is billions of dollars invested in the sport and the money needs to be keeping track of.
Another way that algebra could be used in the game of football is trying to find the total gain or loss of yards made by the players. This is good for player stats as well as game stats. In football you can use algebra to try and determine how much further you have to go to score or attempt a field goal. These can be major factors in a very close game to plan out a good strategy. This game is basically about skill and strategy and math can be a tool that can lead to success in both areas.
The more major part in football that can use math is the building of the stadium. To build a good stadium for fans to be entertained you must have perfect calculations. More importantly is the safety of the people. When most people first think of the term mathematics or the word "Algebra," they don't get too excited. Most people tend to say "I hate math!" or the big one, "When are we ever going to use it in our lives." The fact is that algebra will be used in our lives whether we know it or not. For instance, if we were to attend a football game all it is, is one big math problem. In football mathematics can be used in a variety of different ways. It can be used in the game itself, the business portion (ticket sales), or the building of the stadium. Without math the world would not be the same as we know it to be today.
One way that we can apply math or algebra to the game of football is trying to find out the revenue collected by ticket sales. Without the use of algebra a football team owner couldn't accurately calculate incoming revenues. Most likely he would be losing more money then he would be making. A professional football team is based on a salary cap. There is billions of dollars invested in the sport and the money needs to be keeping track of.
Another way that algebra could be used in the game of football is trying to find the total gain or loss of yards made by the players. This is good for player stats as well as game stats. In football you can use algebra to try and determine how much further you have to go to score or attempt a field goal. These can be major factors in a very close game to plan out a good strategy. This game is basically about skill and strategy and math can be a tool that can lead to success in both areas.
The more major part in football that can use math is the building of the stadium. To build a good stadium for fans to be entertained you must have perfect calculations. More importantly is the safety of the people.